I release what no longer serves me, and surrender to service to all His creations: Meri Ramey

#Cancer; #Pain; #ServingHigherPurpose; #RoseWater; #DivineMessages; #SurrenderToGod

Toronto/Canadian-Media: After being absent for a long time from Alignable, when at last Meri Ramey, my spiritual friend connected with me (Asha Bajaj) I was shocked to learn that she is suffering from cancer and from excruciating pain. She has a strong desire that I should share her journey through which she is passing with others. With breaking heart, I picked up the courage to interview her about the bitter experiences she is going through.

Image: Meri Ramey

​I request all the readers to pray for the speedy recovery of this beautiful soul, who had surrendered herself to the will of God.

Following is the excerpt of the interview between Asha Bajaj and Meri Ramey:

Asha to Meri When did you realize that you were sick? What symptoms did you have?

Meri: I officially knew I was sick on April 27, 5 days after the walk-in mammogram as the biopsy had come back positive for cancer. I did not have any symptoms of breast cancer.

2. When you learned that you had breast cancer, what was your reaction?

When I learned I had breast cancer, my reaction was this is serving a higher purpose that I cannot yet see, though I trust it implicitly.

3. What was the reaction of your family members? It must have been very tough I guess. I hope you full cooperation of from them?

My mom whom I told first reacted to this news with great shock. But I reassured her that I will be okay. My sisters were next and it hit them all in different ways, but hard. Then my kids, were and are scared, but they have faith in their mom’s strength and follow my lead. My dad took it hard as well. My dad was diagnosed with B-Cell Lymphoma 10 days before I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I only told my dad the day before my surgery a month later. My dad and I check in with each other as we have similar treatment times, (he is set 18 weeks of chemotherapy and 20 weeks of chemotherapy to me).

My middle child had the most difficulty and there is a constant reassurance on my part at that moment, I’m right here. My youngest sister had broken open with ‘this is just happening too fast. It’s too much!” She takes me to my appointments and participates in the process with me bringing an element of having some control and willingness to go forward.

4. What was the stage of breast cancer? How long after it was discovered did you have to undergo surgery?

Initially, everything was found really fast, and they had it at Stage 1. 22 days from diagnosis to surgery and then 30 days of radiation to follow. But in the surgery, more was discovered. After further testing what was found was that I was at Stage 2 at that point. My Oncologist decided there’s no point to see if we could find more, we needed to handle this. In addition, the new cancer was sent out and came back with a high recurrence score. This means the cancer was coming back. Because of these findings, my new treatment plan all of sudden included 20 weeks of chemotherapy. This was going to be further life-changing.

5. For how many days did you remain in the hospital? You must have been hard hit financially?

I never stayed overnight in the hospital, but I had many appointments. Including blood labs, MRI, CT scan, pre-op for surgery, cancer treatment planning

The surgery itself left me unable to work, especially in my field as a mechanical insulator in construction. The surgery had 96 stitches. I not could lift my arms, drive, pick up, push, or pull open doors. I wore ice packs for the swelling for over four weeks. The next procedure once new cancer was found was to insert a port and then I had 4 more stitches and could not use my right arm again for another four weeks just as I was becoming mobile in my right arm. The drainage continued and I still have to change bandages now, two and half months out.

6. You mentioned that you had 100 stitches and you prepared rose water yourselves and poured on these? Did you feel any comfort?

I prepared rose water and then I learned of its skin healing properties — anti-inflammatory the most. I began using it with my regimen of cleaning, rose water, then Bactine, and triple antibiotic ointment. My skin cooled when I applied the rose, it was very soothing.

7. How did the thought of preparing rosewater occur to you as a relief to the utter pain you had?

The rosewater came to me divinely as I had received two dozen roses three days apart. The first dozen roses arrived four days after my breast surgery. When they were taken out of the box, half the petals had fallen off. The petals weren’t dead, they just fell off. They were so beautiful.
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​I had asked out loud, “what can I do with all these beautiful rose petals?” The answer came, make rosewater. I said okay, and made it without knowing its properties or that it was going to become part of my healing. The pain came later.

8. How many chemotherapy sessions you had taken till now? How do you feel after each session?

I will have my third treatment this Tuesday. After the first session, I was extremely deliriously tired, dehydrated, nauseous, and the steroids helped me to get through the day. I eat to offset the effects of nausea and sometimes you cannot sleep because of the steroids, but your body has no function. It is like a zombie, who has the flu. You radiate heat all day. No one can touch the clothes you wear, towels, or bedding. They have to be washed separately. The day after my treatment, I go back to have an injection bringing excruciating pain. To explain, the chemotherapy treatment I am on is affectionately known as the Red Devil as it is like hell. To offset the number of white blood cells being lost, the following day’s injection is to pull white blood cells from the bone marrow. This is excruciatingly painful. There is a protocol that offsets the pain, however, come day 5, it does not carry the same effect. After, the first treatment, I was in screaming bone-crushing pain. Especially my skull, chest cavity, lower back felt as though the bone was in a vice grip being squeezed for every last drop.

9. What message did you get from God? You resigned to your pain and disease. It must have been very difficult.
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I have gotten a few, including the initial ‘sign’. I had healed my lung cancer and on the same day, found out about the breast cancer. The first sign, I was not to heal this one, but go through it. The second sign, you are not to work on what you have been doing. The third sign, make rose water and participate in the healing of your skin with the 96 stitches. Fourth, create rose oil. Fifth, understand surrender — you have no control over the moments, surrender ‘control to faith’. Sixth — acceptance of just right now, this moment and see what comes. Seventh — share this journey. The eighth — show, without anger, I am mad at no one, nor nothing. When more cancer was found, and the recurrence score came back as the cancer is coming back and we have to begin five months of chemo — that scared me. That was the most to process. The initial findings were okay, needing surgery, okay, needing radiation, okay. I felt these things were still ‘manageable’. Meaning, I had a say in them. Being interrupted with five months of chemo gave a new saying — ‘this is a life-changing event, your life is changing. Let go of everything of who you were, you are being stripped of almost everything you ever had or knew.

Oh, this I needed a few honest days to process — as I was told I will lose my hair (I have been doing hair since I was a pre-teen, it’s in my DNA, and licensed Barber and color specialist. My hair is my signature and IT IS LEAVING, too!)
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​Being a woman business owner in the specialty construction trade, my contacts, my income, my ability to perform my work at all (as my port cannot get any fiberglass in it -means I cannot step foot on a job site for the remainder of the year) and my hair. Everything I am ‘known’ for, is vanishing. I am still a single mother of three and in service to all creation. I surrender, life changes begin.

10. Did you for a moment have a thought that why were you chosen to go through this pain and turmoil?

Two amazing things:

I have known that from the beginning, however, how did I serve in my own moments? After my second treatment, there was a day that I could not do anything. I had no strength, energy, movement and I didn’t even feel could hug my son. ​

Then I thought of all those who felt the same, in my same position, every man, woman, and child, who never spoke out from THIS MOMENT, this one right here! In tears of pure love, when I had the strength, I wrote this entry into Facebook:

​Hey God, could you give extra love and kisses to all my friends and family on this day? (I have a lot 🥰) Could you pass out so many extra flowers, rainbows, smiles, and pockets of joy to anyone who feels tired today? Could you send an extra wave of love to everyone who felt ‘let me get through this moment and the next? And all their families? And loved ones? Today, could you send extra to every man, woman, and child, and know that this moment will pass? Thank you, I love you and my heart goes to everyone — I love you all so much ️ (close your eyes and slide on the rainbows smile in love, you can do it). All I wanted to do, was give love to everyone… in just this moment, anyone could feel loved, truly and purely….for just pure gratitude that they are here.

Also, the excruciating pain I was in, I had gone to the emergency room and tried a little pain medicine and immediately felt woozy, I could feel the pain medicine was not even touching the source of my pain. I told the doctor I want to leave. I went home and through the night felt like a horror movie. The pain would succumb to nightmares, night terrors, sweating, and then pain…..vicious cycle. This is only six days into five months of treatment. This can’t be real. I walked down to the kitchen before the sun started to break to step out of the torture chamber, pain shot through my body as soon as I sat down. Then I saw it. I had created rose oil from pure love, kindness, and healing. I picked up my little bottle and rubbed some into the base of my spine and the base of my skull. Within three minutes, the pain calmed down. I kept applying it every time it flared up over the next hour and a half…. And then it was gone. And it did not come back. My femur locked into my hip, bone pain all over, just ended, like the end of a storm and the skies clear…. Just like that.

As I release what no longer serves me, and surrender being in service to all His creation, I require nothing and I am humbled and honored to be in service to all, whom I love with all my heart. I am in full acceptance of this change in my life, to which all moments will come.